NIV Bible (NoteWorthy Collection™, The)

Before we get to the contentious issue of translation, there's an even more fundamental matter to consider - the physical manufacture of the book. All the "slim" and "compact" volumes are a bad joke - paper so thin you can read both sides at once, and print so miniscule that I defy you to get through ten chapters without getting a splitting headache. The perfect editions for people who want to bestow, own, or be seen owning a Bible but have no expectation of it ever being read. (That's okay. God loves you too.) You can ignore the paperbacks too, unless you've gotten the Good News courtesy of a stretch in one of our penal institutions and are really short of money. The hardcovers are just a little more expensive in most cases, will last ten times as long, and are ten times more pleasant to use. Eliminate all the ones with poor fonts and inadequate margins and you've seriously narrowed the field. This edition doesn't engage in the tacky (but popular) practice of printing the words of Jesus in red, but if you're afraid you'll lose track of them otherwise, you could always mark the pages with a red highlighter and draw arrows labelled "Over Here!"

As for the translations, arguing their respective merits and demerits is as fun (and unsettleable) as picking All-Time sports teams, but unless you're fluent in Koine Greek - in which case you need to get out more - the only important question is whether it reads well enough that you'll actually want to read the blessed thing. (The theological disagreements that arise are so trivial when you really get down to it that it's hard to imagine even God caring about them much. I mean none of the translations out there read: "No one comes to the Father if he's a Presbyterian.") And on that score, the Good News Translation trumps all others, in my considered opinion. I suppose The Message is even easier to read, if you can stomach the idea of Jesus sounding like a used-car salesman with a *really* great deal. But among the serious translations, this is the only one that doesn't have the weird verbal contortions and spasms that scream "I'm translated!" (The best-selling NIV seems to suffer from Tourette's Syndrome, by comparison.) This is real honest-to-God (so to speak) English and it's a pleasure. Put it this way: the NIV has the overwhelming market share [Windows] but the GNT has the superior operating system [Mac].

I can imagine the Proud (shame on you!) bristling at the informative subject headings and the somewhat childish line drawings (unmistakably redolent of the 70s, when they were made, but effective in their simple-minded way) but personally speaking I rather enjoy these pedagogic booster seats.